The other day I had one of those rare moments when I was able to....breath. It wasn't anything drastic or even unusual. I just went for a walk. I wasn't even alone, Kyle was walking ahead a bit towing Alex in the wagon. Colton and Adelina stayed back at my in-laws house to play and be fawned over.
We just strolled up the road. The initial goal in my mind that I am still trying to shed the excess baby weight, and a mile of brisk walking would bring me that much closer to my goal.
But, as we walked a strange thing started to happen. As I looked at the road below and in front of me I suddenly began to notice I really look down a lot. Normally my eyes don't catch anything spectacular, the pavement or dirt below my feet. Maybe some grass or weeds. But, even on this dreary day I was seeing something spectacular. Dots of gold, yellow, auburn, the occasional green and crimson flashed by. I felt my steps slow. They were just leaves...Maple, oak and sassafras mostly. But they seemed illuminated against the wet pavement. Each laid out showing off their beautiful outlines.
I felt the first exhale....My pace steadied and I watched the colors pass.
I inhaled....and I felt my chin lift, I could see the road ahead now, long and straight, gently rising up the hill ahead. Kyle and Alex were far ahead of me. It was the most alone I had felt in weeks
I exhaled... I felt my thoughts float away.
I inhaled... The air I took in was heavy with water, wind, musty leaves....
I exhaled.... I could see left and right. Into the forest, the dark trees like pillars to their leafy canopy, the floor a golden carpet of freshly fallen leaves. Non of them disturbed. I wanted to walk there to get lost in that beautiful forest room, but I also did not want to disturb it. I walked on.
I inhaled...My ears opened, above the rumble of the wagon ahead, I began to hear the rain drops dripping from the trees, the sound of the breeze through the wet leaves, I heard the creek of a tree branch above.
My pace now was that of a sight see'er, I just wanted to drink in these moments. I was actually here. Gone were the thoughts of stress that had clouded my mind, gone was the chatter of children and family that hung on every nerve. I forgot my reason to come on this walk.
The release of it and the weight of it nearly bringing me to tears.
As I exhaled, I offered my breath to carry a prayer to heaven. I thanked God for this walk for this moment.
My thoughts flooded with the peace only God can give.
My soul quieted..
For that moment it was just me and the wet road, God and the trees.